it’s sublime

our eyes lock the the first time

an electric wave washes over me 

and in that moment I know that I’d take the bullet

and it’s something sublime 

and you stare at the girl in the seafoam green with the light brown streaks

and you don’t think she’d be the same one

running to your house at 12:30 am 

wind slicing at her face 

"she won’t be permanent"

your body shakes profusely

and you slip in

and take her to the highest level of intimacy

and the highest level of ecstasy 

and you won’t meet a girl with a heart as big as hers

and you watch

as you lead her out the door

and you watch her fall

as she takes another bullet 

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I’m scared to have a best friend that knows everything about me. A boyfriend that I can trust. In the end, everyone leaves. They abandon me. They grow out of me. After James I can’t love anyone. 

"I know my place, and it’s about time you learn yours."

Matthew

I must have asked myself a thousand times over if I love you. I still don’t know how to answer. I entered this relationship, forcing myself to love you. Because you loved me and that was enough. Because you were kind and that was enough. I didn’t think you’d able to fulfil my needs but damn, I was wrong.

You’re everything that I’ve ever looked for. Kind, passionate, sacrificing, thoughtful, devoted.   And for some reason you leave this empty void. One that I know you can’t fill. But I’d be a fool to give you up, and I’d be a fool to tell you I’m happy.